#6 – Friendships – A life long bond

*Disclaimer in the sidebar*

Friendships are much like relationships but they are a lot more stronger.

Friends are the family you choose, these people are the ones you talk to daily, you do stuff with them, you have numerous amounts of stories with them and you have will probably have dirt on them like they have on you.

Some friends will be with you for life. Some friends may leave, you may decide that you don’t want to associate with certain people any more but there is one thing that you need to think about the people you want to be in your life.

I three best-friends, well now they feel like sisters because we have been through so much together. We share funny stories, sad stories but we will always be there for each other and these friendships mean a lot to me.

There comes a time when you need to think who want as friends. You have to cut people out of your life at some point. There was this one girl who was in our group at high school and she was a nice person but towards the end and throughout college she got on my tits. She annoyed me so much that I just detested her. We had issues throughout college she just completely stopped speaking to me for an unknown reason, which came to the surface as ‘I showed her a picture of herself on my phone which she took as a selfie’ and she didn’t like it. If you don’t want people to have embarrassing photos of you don’t take embarrassing selfies on their phone?

Anyway when we stopped talking I didn’t feel like I lost a major friend, it wasn’t a friendship that I was bothered about so when that time came I just left that friendship in the past.  I always felt that she was just your basic attention-seeker and I didn’t want all her negativity in my life so when I moved to uni I deleted her from all social medias, her number and I felt a lot more free. She added me back on all social media but I didn’t accept.

People may think this is petty or something but sometimes you need to cut people out and when I did I felt like I didn’t have to think about what I was going to do, just in case it offended her. Sometimes you just have to think about yourself and stop pussy-footing around everyone else.

This will make way for all the friends you make at uni. Uni has honestly been a great experience for me, no matter how many times I have wanted to quit. It has given me a group of girls that I call my closest friends. I want to continue their friendships after we leave uni. They all have different personalities and we all have different ways of speaking and different life experiences because we have lived in different towns.

It’s truly amazing how people bond and having friends at uni is certainly one of the best things out of the uni experience. If you are worried about making friends, I wouldn’t be, everyone is in the same boat.

My advice is go on Facebook and join the uni freshers page, I am not sure if every uni has one but mine did. People post in here, comment on some, add friends and then speak to people then meet up when at uni. Join the course pages and find people on your course, add them and speak to them on message in the holidays and get to know them, that way you can speak to someone on the first day.

This is what me and two other girls on the course did and that first ever week of uni we just stayed together.

Go on your accommodation Facebook page and find out who is in your flat, create a group chat and get to know each other so it’s less awkward when you meet. Everyone is a little awkward when meeting new people so just take it easy and the friendships are surely to blossom.

Remember be you.

Yours Truly

Katy Nella xoxo

#5 – Relationships: Titanic or HMS Victory?

*Disclaimer in the sidebar*

I have only had two proper boyfriends in my lifetime. Of course I had one in primary school but that doesn’t count. I am nearly twenty and I have been single 18 years of my life. I am currently in a relationship, but I will talk about that later.

There are many relationships that can be lost or gained when you go to uni. These could be friendships or relationships. I will be talking about friendships in the next post, but for now I will be focusing on love.

I am at an age now where there are two types of people in the ‘love realm’. There are the people who want to stay single and fuck as many people as they can, they want to experience threesomes, friends with benefits, they want to go to the club and neck (snog) anyone they want without having to worry about if they are harming someones feelings.

And they there are people who want to be in a relationship, they want to feel the closeness with someone, they want to open their heart and share many life experiences with one person. They want to potentially marry this person.

I was watching something and I can’t remember what it was but this saying has always stuck with me throughout my life when I have been thinking about love and my life.

The saying is “When you are with someone there are only two options; break up or marry each other.” Even when you  have married someone there are still two options, stay together or get divorced.

I told my mum this saying and she said that you can’t go through life and constantly think about whether yo are going to stay with someone or break up. Just enjoy the time with that person, even if you eventually break up with that person, you still have some memories with that person, whether they be good or bad.

There comes a time when the person you thought was going to be your forever person, just isn’t. You grow apart, they aren’t the person you thought, or maybe your life just doesn’t  intertwine together nicely. You may have different goals. They may treat you badly and then you need to decide whether or not if your relationship is like the Titanic. Is it going to sink and never be retrievable or is it like the HMS Victory: Sailing along the waters nicely.

My first relationship taught me what I wanted in a partner, it taught me if my gut is saying get out, just leave the relationship behind, don’t try to salvage whats left of nothing. This also goes with what happens after a relationships ends. Don’t go back, you guys broke up for a reason. You can’t put back together the broken, sunken pieces of a boat. You can’t fix it, it will always will be a sunken mess.

I was single for three years after this relationship, (it ended when I was 16 and in my first year off college) and I felt so much more happier, free, and just felt like a new direction in my life had unlocked. I didn’t waste my time trying to find another relationship I just focused on myself.

I wasn’t perfect in that relationship, it brought up a lot of issues and I needed to work through them and I did. I just took time being happy with myself, and my own company, because you can’t be happy with someone else if you aren’t. You need to laugh by yourself to appreciate whatever happiness someone adds to your own.

You shouldn’t depend on someone to make you happy, they should only add to your happiness.

Uni was probably when I realised that I don’t need someone else. But having someone is just an added pleasure in life.

I have had one night stands. I don’t regret them at all. I regret how some of them happened but I don’t regret doing any of them. They allowed me to have fun, to experience a part of single life that I hopefully will never experience again. Overall I have slept with 7 people and I am not ashamed to say that this is my sex number. You shouldn’t be ashamed of fucking people, it is literally one of the most natural things in the world. So when you get to uni, don’t be ashamed, own it. It’s not the ‘walk of shame’ it’s a ‘stride of pride’.

Being single is really fun, but in my opinion nothing is as great as having someone with whom you are deeply in love with. Someone who loves you completely regardless of your history. They accept all your flaws, support your ideas, they are truly honest with you, and you can discuss your different opinions like mature adults.

I am with my boyfriend James at the minute and he is honestly the best person I could have imagined the rest of my life with. He isn’t my type. My best friend said she was surprised that I started to date a guy like James. But I could not be happier. He supports me. He knows everything about me and he doesn’t judge me. We do argue but when we do we finish and cuddle after because we can’t stay mad at each other for long.

My first relationship was the Titanic, but I feel and I wish my relationship now is the HMS Victory.

You need to decide if you are in a relationship whether it is best to jump overboard or to steer the ship along with your partner. If you are deciding on which uni to go to because of your partner, whether you want to stay close or they aren’t going, or if you have a partner that is going and you are not, let them decide on what to do.

If you want to go to uni in the north and you live in London or vice versa, you need to think of yourself as this is a huge decision. If your partner truly loves you they will let you live your dreams and they will ride out the storm with you.

You can always take a break and then decide whether or not your relationship is what you really want. That is what one of my course mates has done. She and her boy split, but they still talk as they believe that they will be together in the future, but they are still seeing if thats what they want by testing out single life.

If it’s meant to be, it will be.

This is a long ass post but it’s a major decision and it needs to be thought of.

Yours Truly

Katy Nella xoxo

Becoming a Twitch Streamer?

I have always been fascinated by games and watch gamers play games on youtube and Twitch.

But I am scared that if I do take the leap into doing it people that know me will mock me and the fact that I don’t look good on camera so theres another thing. But I have bought a mic, a webcam and set up a Twitch account, so I am nearly there, I just need to push myself into doing it.

But I love playing different games and when me and my sisters play Roblox – they forced me to play a few years ago but it’s fun and I love it – some of the moments are really funny so I thought people would laugh if they saw this so thats why I want to stream. To make people laugh.

There are some drawbacks though, I don’t have consoles, I don’t have a huge ass computer and I don’t know how to do technical stuff so it will be a challenge but like Barney Stinson “Challenge Accepted”.

So be on the look out for my streams I guess (if I do them).

My Twitch is – https://www.twitch.tv/katynellsxoxo

But I am going to focus more on my blog this summer so you guys will actually have posts to read! I know I have said this a thousand times, but I promise I will keep up to date of my blog!

Love yours

Katy Nella xoxo

#4 – Literally no-one gives a fuck

As it is coming to the season where people are preparing for uni, I am going to try to write more posts to do with the uni series.

*Disclaimer in the side bar *

People at uni generally don’t give a fuck.

By this I mean, you should stop fussing about whether you look fat, ugly, if your hair is bright green, if you are a virgin, if you have slept with dozens and dozens of people, no-one cares. No-one cares about your past, unless you make it a big thing.

We as a society care about what other people think of us more than what we think of ourselves. The only opinion that matters, is your own.

We all think people are judging us but in reality many aren’t. Some people do, thats a given.

We are all on the ride of life. We have different journeys to take but some of us have probably gone through the same shit and that is okay.

I went through a complete hair disaster this year in February. I tried to die my hair a lilac colour but it instead turned a horrible, grimy sea colour. It was absolutely mingin’. I had blue hair-dye, so I decided to die it blue…

It was a really nice colour, I ended up loving it, but I was so scared that people would judge me, people did make comments and they did stare but most of the comments I received were positive. Many people said that they wished they had the confidence to do that drastic if a hair colour change. I see so many people with different coloured hair at uni and I think it’s amazing that people have the confidence to rock a vibrant colour.

People wear pyjamas, slippers and random shit to uni but no-one bats an eyelid. In fact I wish that I would wear my pyjamas to uni as I could nap as soon as I get into my flat. It’s innovative really.

I have worn my slippers to the local Nisa because I couldn’t be bothered putting my shoes on. It was at 9pm, so give me a little credit.

Bottom line of the story is that you can go to uni and wear what you want, have your hair how you want, listen to music you like and no-one will care, unless it’s the music thing and you’re having a flat party at 2 am when people have uni the next day, then they will hate you.

Yours Truly