Meeting new people is daunting. Especially when you are going to be living with them for just under a year. You have to get to know them or you will just be stuck in your room with no-one to speak to or to do anything with and no-one wants to be on their own. It is horrible. There may be people that you are put with that you get on amazingly well with and there are some people you have to live with that you really don’t want to. Last year I was on my foundation year and the people I lived with were really nice. We got on well, we cooked together, we went out together, we went shopping together, we even stayed in and watched movies together. But it wasn’t always a picnic. There were a few people that would use your stuff without asking, which is just plain rude, especially if they don’t even wash the stuff they used, which happened a lot in my flat. There was this one person, lets call them John Doe, who would use everyone else’s food without asking, his excuse was that,”The food I ate were the essentials and I thought we would all share the essential food”. Which was bullshit and he knew that as we all had out own butter, bread, milk and ham.
He had his own butter and he used one of my other flatmates till it was gone. This flatmate never really used his butter and when he needed to it was mostly gone because John Doe used it all. I really didn’t like this guy, in freshers he creeped me out. One night the lads decided to go out, but one of them didn’t have any ID so they stayed in and drank, I had been out the night before so I wasn’t really feeling particularly up to it. Anyway, I put on my pyjamas, and as I was sleeping I didn’t wear a bra so I put a cardigan on. I went and sat with the lads and some went downstairs for a cig whilst me John Doe and another lad stayed upstairs. He would then ask me to take my cardigan off, saying that it wasn’t cold blah blah blah, he was really drunk but that is no excuse to act like a total asshole, then us three went downstairs to join the others. The person that I would be really close with in the future asked me why I had a cardigan on, to which I said jokingly “I am outside, I am pretty cold”, he said fair enough and laughed. Then John Doe decided to put his arm around me and rub my arm, I was so freaked out and just disgusted, one of the lads noticed this and said shall we go upstairs, which I ran up the stairs. When he put his arm around me I just moved away straight away.
The lads told me a few weeks after that he liked me. I didn’t like him back, he wasn’t my type at all, he was the ‘nice guy’. And they would tell me that he is a nice guy, because he had nothing going for him, not personality, not body and not looks. They tried so hard to get me to date him, which was not going to happen. They kept asking me why I wouldn’t give him a chance as he was the ‘nice guy’ after all, and I simply replied “Just because he is the ‘nice guy’ does not mean that I am obliged to ‘take one for the team’ and give him a date, I will go out with someone to whom I am attracted to, and I am not attracted to him. If I went on a date with him it would be the shittest, most awkward date ever and it would be even more bitchy if I did that then told him ‘It was actually a pity date, the lads begged me to go on with you’ nothing is ever going to happen.” The lads just said fair enough and then they dropped the whole thing, with making jokes to it later on in the year of course.
At the ending of freshers party, we all went and they kept pushing him into me and he still tried to get with me if you will, no matter hard I tried to get away he just wouldn’t get the hint. I could have said ‘look I don’t like you, leave me alone’ but I just couldn’t be that mean, so I snogged a few lads to try and tell him to away. Not the best thing to do I know but sometimes you have got to do what you have got to do.
The reason why I told you that story is because you may have a flatmate like that or you may not, but if you are a girl and something like this happens just tell them straight at the beginning that nothing will happen. I t will be awkward but it will be the best thing to do as giving someone hope to just rip it off them is one of the most evil things you can do to someone. And if you are a guy and a girl is sending hints that she doesn’t want to flirt, talk to or do anything with you, just leave it. There will be plenty more fish in the sea.
I know this is a super long post but there are a lot of tips and stories to do with moving in. So I am now in my first year at uni doing a Journalism degree and I am in halls, so I had to meet different people again. They all seem nice, it’s early days yet as we have only lived with each other a few weeks, but the people seem nice. Some actually went out tonight and I felt a little bit left out because I wasn’t asked to go out and in these situations you need to meet people you need to have good times, but then again I was spending time with my boyfriend as he is going home this weekend to watch the football.
If you ever feel like you can’t make friends or you are super shy or have anxiety when meeting new people, don’t worry you are not on your own. Ask on the freshers pages if anyone wants to meet new people then set up a group chat, ask your flatmates if you can go out with them one night (that is what I am going to do on Thursday, so I will let you know if that works), just ask people if they want a brew, if they want to go to the common room and what not. This is your time to branch out and meet new personalities.
So all in all what I am trying to say is that don’t be put off by the bad experiences that come with halls, there will be so many good ones that out weigh the bad and you will meet so many new people and make so many new memories. I personally think living in halls is the best option, you can commute, but for your future, I would recommend living in halls.
Hope your new flatmates aren’t from hell.
Katy Nella xo